Sunday, 20 October 2013

Theresa Milstein guest blogs: How I met my husband



For the record, we were not high school sweethearts.

            Physical Education (PE) was never my favorite class. In my senior year, I found it that much more unbearable because it took place when my friends ate lunch. I skipped the class one or two more times more than I should have. The teacher made me make up the whole semester the spring before graduation.

            When I attended my first “Early Morning Gym,” another PE delinquent stood outside the door with a cup of coffee. I’d never seen him before, which wasn’t unusual since it was a large school. He looked kind of… mean in his t-shirt, flannel, and jeans. He reminded me of Judd Nelson in The Breakfast Club. I avoided staring at him while we waited for the PE teacher to show up.


            Later that week, a friend in my art class introduced me to PE guy, Stu. Turns out he wasn’t as mean as he looked. We began hanging out during Early Morning Gym. During the weight unit, he and I talked until the teacher came by, and then we’d half-heartedly do a few reps. During the tennis unit, we smoked cigarettes on the court (this was a long time ago). He made me laugh and in no time, we’d begun hanging out during our free periods and even after school.

            Although Stu wasn’t my type, I found myself sort of liking him. I tried to flirt, which may have been more annoying than alluring. But he seemed to like my best friend more than me. For prom weekend, the three of us held our own anti-prom at a hotel in the Hamptons. I’d hoped he’d ask me out then, but he didn’t.

            Just as we graduated, a boy who was a year older, and more my type (a musician), asked me out. That summer, I worked at a local traveling carnival with my PE friend while I dated my boyfriend.

            At the end of the summer, my boyfriend started his new college in New Orleans. Stu and I attended local colleges. We were both trying to be better students than we’d been in high school. Most of our friends had gone away to college, and we wound up relying on one another more. He set up a second desk in his bedroom so I could study with him. I kept dating the boyfriend long distance, but I found myself more connected with PE friend than my boyfriend.

            When my boyfriend transferred to his third school and wound up living near me, I realized he wasn’t The One. He drank too much and was tight with money except when it came to transferring colleges and purchasing music equipment. One time, my boyfriend surprised me by visiting the music store where I worked. Stu was already there. I told my boyfriend that nothing was going on between Stu and me, which was true. But I was lying to him and myself about how my feelings were changing. While my boyfriend made me frustrated and brought out the worst in me, Stu made me laugh and brought out the best in me.

            Just about a year after the relationship started, I broke up with my boyfriend. I’d hoped Stu liked me too, so I looked for signs. His ex-girlfriend asked him out. He said no. Good sign. But if he was looking for good signs from me, I kept blowing them. He brought me a teddy bear from the carnival with a heart. I blurted that I didn’t like stuffed animals with hearts. Stupid me. We got tickets to see a concert. I left the bag with the tickets at home. Stupider me.

            A week later on a perfect July night, we took a walk in the park while a band played music in the background. Stu told me he liked me as more than a friend. I told him I felt the same way. He kissed me. The band stop playing and the audience applauded.

            Stu became my boyfriend.

            The next morning, flowers arrived at my house. I went from elation to disappointment. The flowers were from my ex. When he called, I had to tell him that six weeks after we’d broken up, I’d already moved on with the guy he’d been threatened by all that time. A couple of years later, the three of us wound up at the same university. Ex and I attended the same history class. No hard feelings.

            Stu and I did well in school. He majored in Biology and then earned
his PhD in Biology. Thanks to him, I was able to pass Calculus. Even though he’s my husband, we kept our friendship. He still makes me laugh. 25 years after we met, I feel lucky to wake up next to him every morning, and share a home and two children with him.

Sometimes we bring up that first year. Stu admits to not being that interested in me in the beginning, but he won’t say when his feelings changed. I can’t pinpoint a specific time either. But at some point it happened for both of us.

            And I’m glad it did.


 
Stu and Theresa Milstein
Thank you so much, Theresa for a beautifully written account of how you met Stu.

Keep up to date with all Theresa's writing adventures, by reading her blog, Theresa's Tales of Teaching Tribulation and Typing Teen Texts.

34 comments:

  1. Thanks so much for hosting me, Mary. This was a fun post to write because I don't often reflect back on that time, and remember all the impressions and feelings. I linked your post to my blog. http://theresamilstein.blogspot.com/2013/10/michelle-mary-and-me.html

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  2. Thanks so much, Theresa. It really shows that you put so much thought into the post. I tried to pick out my favourite part of the post, such as smoking on the tennis courts (!) or the walk during the perfect July night, or the part that you 'kept' your friendship. But, I can't pick a favourite part!

    You are a great writer, and I hope your successes will be as big as your talent.

    Warmly,

    Mary

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  3. Hello Readers - I invite you to get in touch if you would like to guest blog here and write an account of how they met your husband or wife. Please leave a comment with an e-mail and I'll be in touch very soon.

    Mary

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  4. That's so beautiful, Theresa. It really is a John Hughes loves story, which I find much more wonderful than the fairy-tale variety. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Thank you, Susan. It is kind of like a John Hughes story. I've thought of making it into a retro-80s story, but I'm not sure how it would work. Years ago, I started writing a script until I realized I had no idea what I was doing.

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  5. Hi Susan, I just checked out your blogs, and became a follower on all three. I will send a link of My Life With Zane to a journalist who I know, who avidly follows blogs that chronicle the lives of children with disabilities. Thanks for stopping by my blog. Mary

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  6. Awwwwwww!!! Hello Mary and Theresa! That wedding pic of you, Theresa and your lovely hubby is always nice to see!! Love your love story! Take care
    x

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    1. Old Kitty, thank you. Since you've been a loyal follower since nearly the beginning of my blog you remember this old picture!

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    2. Hello Old Kitty, I've been enjoying your cat-love-blog. I like cats, but not as much as my ardent love for dogs. All the same, I'm passing on your blog to a lady that I know who loves cats.

      Warmly, Mary

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  7. Loved learning how you and your hubby got together, Theresa. What a sweet story. It really made me smile.

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  8. That sounds awesome. I wish I could have hung out in the Hamptons.

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    1. Ditto - I wish that I could have been at the anti-prom, too.

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    2. Michael, lots of kids went to the prom and then The Hamptons. Biggest difference is they took a limo and we drove in Stu's beat up car. The passenger door didn't open unless we drove on the highway when it would fly open on its own.

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  9. That was a super sweet story! I loved it, Theresa!!

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  10. awe what a beautiful story!!!! thank you for sharing. xx

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    1. Thanks, Michelle. I hope you didn't mind sharing my blog for the day.

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  11. Aww, that's so sweet. Thanks for sharing, Theresa. I read it like a real story and was on tenterhooks waiting to see if it would all work out!

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    1. Deniz, thanks. I was nervous at the time too.

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  12. This could become a novel. What a fantastic story. It wasn't easy or fast, but it was meant to be.

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    1. Medeia, thanks. I've thought of turning it into some written thing or other.

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  13. I am going to steal your story and write a romantic comedy--complete with heart-shaped teddy bears.

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    1. Missed Periods, don't you dare! You'll have to fight me and Theresa, that's two against one!

      Checked out your witty blog - am reading the Literally is the New Figuratively post.

      Warmly, Mary

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    2. HaHa! Jenny. Stu still gives me a hard time about the bear.

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  14. Awww...such a cute story. The stuff of fairy tales. And romance novels!

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  15. I'm glad I stopped by your place. This was such a treat to read. I loved learning more about you pal. What a beautiful bride. XOXO

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    1. Thanks so much, Robyn for stopping by and leaving such a positive comment.

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    2. Thanks, Robyn. I did feel pretty that day. Everyone should on their wedding day.

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  16. What a great blog segment, Mary! And what a great love story, Theresa. It reads like it could make a great YA novel. I just love a good contemporary romance.

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    1. Thanks a lot, Ruth. I adore a contemporary romance, too.

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    2. Ruth, maybe one day I'll write it.

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  17. Hello Everyone, and thank you for your great comments. If you or any lady that you know would like to share the story of how she met her husband, drop me a line at bialystockandbloom1968@gmail.com

    With lots of love,

    Mary

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